a gross exaggeration
|
Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
—George Bernard Shaw |
Lovers in the honeymoon stage of their relationship will definitely want to disagree with Shaw. And while I think his scathing statement is basically true, I also think it is possible to accept it as true without forsaking love in any way.
Consider: When Romeo swoons for Juliet, the cynic who agrees with Shaw understands Romeo to be elevating Juliet above the rest of humanity—or at least above all similarly aged women of equal attractiveness. On every strada in Verona, the cynic would say, there is some other equally adorable woman whom Romeo could love with equal passion and exclusivity. And while this may also be correct, it would be wrong to imagine that, Romeo, in his fierce and all-consuming love for Juliet, is in error. For Romeo does not suffer from a delusion but a blindspot: He does not overrate the lovableness of Juliet. He sees her clearly. Rather, he underrates the lovableness of other young women.
I do not think it is possible for mortal men to do otherwise. But following this idea through to its ultimate logical consequences invites us to imagine an Ideal Romantic—not a gifted lothario or a sultan with his harem but a saint or mystic who affirms the logic underlying Shaw's statement by universalizing rather than repudiating love. He does not exaggerate the difference between one person and everybody else; rather, he loves all humanity with the same all-consuming passion with which Romeo loves Juliet; and just as Romeo could readily die for love of Juliet, so this Ideal Romantic could readily die for love of all mankind. And such a person, of course, is actually to be found in history. What I have just described applies precisely to the man whom Albert Einstein called, "the luminous figure of the Nazarene."
The conclusion is surprising but I think it is warranted. Shaw's snide remark about love, when pressed, becomes love's ultimate affirmation. For while his skepticism about love is sadly confirmed by human experience (as anyone who has ever felt an unwavering and undying love for some person that nevertheless wavered and died must admit) the lesson to be drawn from all this is not that love is a mistake but that the lack of love is a mistake. In other words, we are not in error when we love too much; we are in error when we do not love enough.