I Wish I Were a Moron
In You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery, Richard Stengel quotes an unnamed friend as saying, “If only idiots knew they were idiots.” Everyone will empathize with the sentiment, but few will realize that the question it raises (How does someone discover that they are an idiot?) has some very remarkable and totally unexpected philosophical implications. The purpose of this note is to attempt to rough them out.
My first difficulty arises before I have even begun and lies in the very real possibility that I am not only stupid but too stupid to realize that I am stupid; in other words, that my stupidity protects me from an awareness of my own stupidity. This is the reason why the path before me is so tortuous: To realize I am an idiot, I must navigate my way out of the labyrinth of rationalizations and cognitive blindspots that have so far keep me in the dark. Presupposing the conclusion (I am an idiot) it follows that I will find this zetetic brainwork near impossible. But let us say that I succeed. I face down my terror at the realization and I proceed to all the catastrophic ramifications. I tell you, without irony, that I am an idiot. I add that my case is hopeless since I am, ex hypothesi, constitutionally incapable of solving this or any other problem. I rescind everything I have ever said and everything I will ever say. I do all this, and I invite you to despise me. Though it destorys me, I uphold the truth. ("How can I possibly be an idiot if I myself know that I am considered one?" asks Dostoevsky's hero in, aptly enough, The Idiot. And of course it is true: If I am an idiot my conclusion is worthless; but if my conclusion is worthless I am not an idiot; but if I am not an idiot then my conclusion is not worthless... But let's abandon this unprofitable argument right here where it is condemned to forever chase its own tail.) To make an open admission of idiocy, in other words, is a feat of astonishing intelligence. It requires a mind of self-abnegating perspicacity. It marks the complete ascendency of reason over the ego. A self-professed idiot is to be envied and his mind is worthy of your veneration: It has triumphed over itself. |
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